So how do you go from teenage badass to wannabe engineering geek/Dad/lost in the crowd? Transitions are something that has always amazed me. The quote “all things are temporary" applies, doesn’t it? We are never who we are, we are always evolving into who we will be, and working towards what is next. One of the greatest realizations in my life was that allowing the world to decide what is next, or simply taking what is handed to you is never the right choice. It may be the convenient or simple choice, but there is always a better one.

Let’s go back to formative years and work forward.

High school. I hated High school. I hated everything from being a “Minor Niner”, through to grade 14. Yes, I did spend a couple extra years there hiding from life, and lost in a world of self-loathing and self pity. I was the kid who never quite fit in but sure tried hard. I shaved my head, got all black clothes and Doc Martin’s. I tried to be bad to the bone, but somehow my shoelaces came untied, or my pants weren’t torn quite right, or my fly was down. And I never smoked, let alone doing the drugs and so forth that the bad to the bone kids did. I was a wannabe and I knew it. It lasted about 2 years. In that time I had become quite an actor. I could fake stoned, I could fake angry at the world, I could fake everything, and most of the crowd believed it. I joined our high school drama club.

It was in the world of literature and drama that I adopted Anne Frank, Shakespeare, Arthur Miller, Tennyson, Longfellow and Robert Service as the folks who would write the credo for my being. Through all this I was happily attending the mormon church with my family week in and out. Folks respected me there. I could be who I wanted. It was a safe haven. At the same time, I was in Sea Cadets. If ever there were two diametrically opposite worlds, the world of Cadets and the world of the church were them. At church you were hugged and things were warm and fuzzy. In cadets it was people yelling and pushing it was urgency and strength of mind. I liked both for different reasons. I hated both for different reasons. I ended up a jumbled confusion of rules and repentance, of acceptance and except-ance. The world of cadets taught me survival, and canoeing and clearness of mind in desperate situations. The world of religion taught me respect for the majesty of nature and love for others. I could never go to war and kill, but I could never accept full control of my life by a group like the mormons either. More actions without meaning, but also some very deep understanding came from both of those groups.

In around Grade 11 a teacher in a drafting course struck a chord with me. He showed that architecture combined the worlds of art and engineering to touch more lives than either could individually. Consider this – a Picture hanging in a private collection will only affect as many people as enter the museum or home to see it. Even if it goes to print copy, it will only be seen by as many as take the time to shop for that type of image. A building on the other hand, can be a work of art on such a scale that every person who passes sees it. This notion of touching so many lives appealed to me on a deep level. I worked my heart out in the class, and got the highest mark in my high school career. Suddenly math and physics meant something more than scribble on notepads. I wasn’t a stellar student, but I became adequate.

In an appointment with a guidance counselor I shared my dream – I wanted to be an architect. I wanted to build something great. I left the appointment with my dream shattered. By the end of our session he had convinced me to drop an academic level, to be happy to learn a trade, and that maybe setting my sights so high was foolhardy. I would never have the acumen after all to achieve what was needed for entry, let alone graduation from higher education. I returned to my previous level of performance, drifting. Accepting what was easy, moaning about what wasn’t. I was hiding from the world in a cloud of self pity.

So here I was a typical muddled youth entranced by theatre and spoken art, bewitched by science and built form, and not excelling in either. I needed to keep on hiding, but I looked a little ridiculous in high school. What could I do next? The mormons provided the escape. I went on a mission.